before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
