we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
