Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The power of my boobs compel you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
