her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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