I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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