No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
