I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
