Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
