they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
