When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
