you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
