Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
