Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dicks are not precious.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
