how can u be prego again
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
