That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Farmville is her only friend.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
