if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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