____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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