You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
