I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
