i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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