Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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