and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize