It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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