The maid of honor just puked.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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