Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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