dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
