One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
