Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
