If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
