Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
