Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
