The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
