shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
