His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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