she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
