just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
