He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
