I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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