you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize