also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
