the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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