so that wasnt chicken after all
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize