were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
