Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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