o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize