Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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