if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
