The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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