But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
