; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
