It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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