do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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