so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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