the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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