I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
