i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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