what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This is my gift to your gina
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
