Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
In America we eat man semen.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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