No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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